I was hoping for a more elegant title but there is no other way to put it. DYING WITH DEBT SUCKS! It may not suck for the person who is dead because it is no longer their problem. But for those of us who are left behind, whether you were dependent or interdependent on the person, or you simply give a hoot, if there are no available funds to address the debt, it sucks being you.

You may not have taken out the loan or benefitted from mortgage or credit card usage personally, but as the Executor or Trustee, you now find yourself standing in the shoes of the borrower, begging and pleading for mercy from creditors who are not even yours. You become like a quasi debt consolidation officer wheeling and dealing, or a contestant on Let’s Make a Deal, trying to reduce or eliminate the debt and save momma’s house.  And the creditor at the other end of line utters that one sentence that is supposed to bring you comfort–“We are only attempting to collect a debt from the estate and not from you personally.” Instead, you want to reach through the phone and shake them. Then they move on to ask, “What are the assets of the estate?”  “Do you plan to sell the home?” As if you feel much better now.   But in reality, the decedent’s debt feels very much like your debt and the responsibility of saving momma’s house, or at least getting the best deal possible, has transferred to you.

You may be thinking, what’s the big deal? If there is no money in the estate then just sell the home, the car and other assets, and move on. Yes, ultimately it may come to that if foreclosure doesn’t snatch the assets first. Either way, the process of winding up the affairs of a loved one with debt sucks. It sucks for the widow or widower who has to sell the family home and start over. It sucks for the children who simply want to keep a piece of their heritage. It sucks for the family that opted to go into greater debt to save their inheritance from being sold on the courthouse steps. It sucks for the siblings who are pitted against one another believing they should have received much more but were aloof about the reality of their parents’ indebtedness. It sucks for the minor child whose life is uprooted because the surviving guardian cannot afford the lifestyle the child has grown accustomed to because all debts are now due.

Whether or not we want to admit it, oftentimes the debt left behind does not magically disappear at death. Instead, it lingers on for others to make the tough decisions. The least we can do is give some consideration to the potential impact on our loved ones and perhaps establish a plan to lessen the threat to the family home.